Get out of your head!

Therapy tips for a more flexible brain…

Practices that can help you change the way you feel

Many people enter therapy because they feel stuck in a worry cycle.  They find themselves obsessing about things that happened in the past or worrying about what might happen in the future.  They go over every detail and try to predict every possible future scenario.  Sound familiar?  How do we stop doing this?  How do we start letting go of our worries and just enjoy life?

Mindfulness has been a buzzword for a while now, and for good reason.  It is the practice of paying attention to what is in the present moment, without judgment.  When mindfulness practices are incorporated into our daily routine they can really bring about changes in how we experience ourselves and the world around us.

So how do I do this??  It sounds incredibly boring!

Well, it can be, but it doesn’t have to be!  Let’s talk first about what the mindfulness practice is actually doing, and then we can focus on how to do it.

First, it is important to understand that you are not doing anything wrong.  Your brain is not broken.  It is actually just doing exactly what it is programmed to do to survive.  We are wired to scan our environment for threats, as well as to try and find patterns in our surroundings and predict what may happen next.  These are important and adaptive traits.  There are many reasons these systems can spiral out of control and become dysfunctional- trauma, injury, the demands placed on us by a fast-paced society, etc.  The problem happens when the brain ceases to be flexible and shift out of the “worry pattern”.  It becomes like tire tracks in the mud – you keep driving on the same path and the treads become deeper and much more difficult to get out of.

Our goal is to get out of the deep treads.  This is an active process, and it will take some repetition.  You aren’t just going to drive the car onto a new smooth road and leave the old treads behind.  But the more you practice these steps, the more you will teach your brain how to shift gears.  So you can still assess threats and predict/plan when you need to, but you don’t have to be stuck in that state.

Notice your thoughts

This one sounds kind of silly and easy, but it is an important step.  Just the act of noticing you are in your “stuck” pattern can begin to shift your brain.  You can even give this worried part a name.  My daughter has named hers “Miggy”, short for Amygdala, one of the brain areas responsible for assessing the threat.  So when she notices being scared at night, for example, she knows that “Miggy” is doing her job, trying to make sure she is safe.  There is no judgment here, we are just noticing! 

Sometimes if you are really deeply in a state of worry it can be tough to even notice you are doing it.  That’s okay!  You can still do the mindfulness practices any time you remember.  Maybe set a reminder on your phone several times during the day.  The more often you do them, the more you shift out those deep “tread patterns” in your brain.

 

Shifting your brain state with mindfulness

Here is where we utilize mindfulness practices to get your brain unstuck.  I will talk about two approaches.  Please note that with all practices, it is important to listen to your instincts and respect your limits.  Always seek the help of a licensed professional to help guide you if this process is overwhelming.  (Asking for help is courageous and worthwhile!)

Attention inward - This is where we pay attention to our own body sensations.  **If the idea of being ‘in’ your body feels scary it may be good to practice the next exercise, attention outward, for a while first, and work with a trained professional to develop a safe space for working with body awareness. 

Beginning to inhabit one’s body can be pretty uncomfortable.  This is where we store things- our pain, our discomfort, our unprocessed feelings.  There are aches and pains that we would rather avoid, and deep dark caverns were scared, sad, lonely parts of us hide.  This can be difficult and daunting work.  But it is not impossible, and it doesn’t have to be painful.  Start small, practicing briefly and often.

Begin with a small area that feels approachable, and all you need to do is notice.  There is no goal here, simply observation.  I like to use my feet, to feel how they are connected to the earth.  Maybe you even focus on your big toe for a few moments.  Do you notice where it connects to the ground?  Does the area where the toenail is feel differently than the bottom of the toe? Just take a few moments to put all of your attention on this toe.  Of course, it probably seems weird to do this exercise, which is the point!  We are actively choosing to shift our attention, to break the loop the brain is stuck in.  To get out of the treads in our heads!  Stay with the toes or the feet, or whichever body part you chose that felt the most approachable.  Do this often, many times a day, even just for a few seconds.

Attention outward - An alternative to bringing your attention to your body is to bring your attention to your surroundings.  Pick one of your senses and stay with it for a few moments.

Look around – what do you see?  What are the colors or shapes that you can find?  Pick a random thing in your immediate surroundings and really investigate it.  Now notice – what does it feel like?  Notice the texture and temperature.  Investigate as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. 

Listen – what do you hear?  Can you focus on one sound?  Can you now notice any other sounds in the background?  Are there any smells in the air?

Taking just a few moments to focus on what your senses are taking in shifts your brain from the internal focus, out of the usual treads it gets stuck in.  And remember, it’s okay if these practices don’t change your life immediately!  It takes repetition for our brains to develop new patterns.  See if you can commit to 30 days of practice.  Slowly over time, you will notice an increase in your ability to shift gears and get away from patterns of behavior that are no longer serving you.